


I Don't Remember

by GrantsHummel



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 17:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4530219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrantsHummel/pseuds/GrantsHummel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something happened when Hunter got drunk.<br/>And thank god.<br/>Because without this mistake, maybe these two boys would never have me found the confidence to express themselves how they've really always wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Its Christmas, and Hunter finds himself celebrating it in a completely different way to how he expected...
> 
> No warning for this, complete and utter cuteness and fluff. With a healthy dose of mild angst, of course!

[Hunter, can we talk? -S] 

[Whats up? -H] 

[You know how everyone got smashed in the warblers celebration party the other night? -S]

[Of course -H] 

[What do you remember? -S] 

[Next to nothing, why? -H] 

[Dont worry -S] 

[Wow, convincing. -H] 

[Sorry ...Can you come over, like right now? I need to sort this out. -S] 

[Yeah... sure -H] 

Hunter pulled up at Sebastian's house, laughing in surprise yet again at the size of it, and he thought his house was big. His eyes scanned over the building, grand and formal; the Smythe household was always so cold and uninviting at a glance. Just like Sebastian, you don't appreciate it until you see the inside, it's warm glow and comforting presence being hidden away by it's exterior. 

Hunter wondered whether Sebastian picked it for a reason, or whether it was absent minded. He looked at the height, the walls screaming superiority, forcing you to feel intimidated and mocked, colour was minimal, plain block colours, yet strangely handsome in figure and shape. Luring you in to find out what no one else saw. The similarities to the house and it's owner we're quite honestly, ridiculous. 

Hunter stepped out of his car, the cold and sharp air hitting his lungs, the smell of fallen leaves wafted throughout the air, smokey and welcoming the magic of the new year soon to be. He always had loved Christmas. 

The branches of the surrounding trees were naked now, stretching out to boast about their beauty, yet the ends curling in slightly, craving warmth, intimacy of some sort. Hunter listened to the gentle creaks of the wood, the rustle of birds calling out to each other, breaking the silence of peace. He felt like an intruder here, yet he adored it, it was strangely a place he could see himself sinking into, becoming part of the warmth and creatures.

Sebastian never seemed to be a woodland person, but Hunter knew him well enough to see that as much as he would deny it, he felt most at home in the soft calls of fox, the free tapping of deer hooves, the silence between them being broken by the lip-bitingly satisfying noise of wings over head, reminding him that maybe angels really did exist. 

Drifting aim-fully forward, he stuffed his hands into his pockets, savouring any resemblance of warmth inside of them, curling his fingers up to imitate the branches of the trees, grateful for the warmth of his palm. When he reached the oak door, he smiled almost absent mindedly, it was an automatic reaction when he knew he was going to see Sebastian. They were best friends after all. 

Albeit unwillingly, he raised his hand from the comfort of his pocket fabric and clenched it together to knock lightly on the wood, the door opened almost immediately, a rigid and clumsy break to the serenity of outside. Sebastian looked shattered. 

His skin seemed more taught than when he had seen it before, firm with tension and anxiety. His eyes refused to meet Hunters, as though he was too scared to risk answers letting loose from them, his fingers fumbled together, a nervous habit Sebastian apparently had. His lips were pressed tightly together, slightly drier from the cold weather and supposed wine. 

"Hey" Hunters voice immediately created a reaction to Sebastian expression, who's skin seemed to visibly soften and relax at the sound of it. "Can I come in?" He asked tenderly, frowning slightly at the other teens method of seemingly curling into himself at the question. He nodded and stepped aside, motioning his arm for Hunter to walk in, his long smooth fingers trembling ever so slightly at the end of his toned and tanned arms. 

Hunter stepped inside, offering a warm smile to Sebastian who accepted it like it was a drug giving him relief. Hunter could barely hold his tongue for amount of questions he had, but the inside of his house immediately was used as a distraction, almost as though Sebastian had planned it to be one. 

The house was golden, lit with fairy lights and a warm fire, there was a large Christmas tree, bedecked with small glistening heels of colour with crimson and gold ribbon intertwined in the branches. The woody, pine scent heated Hunters soul as a bowl of oranges and cinnamon stood on nearly every window ledge, the heat of the fire enriching the smokey, spiced aroma. It was idyllic. The true scent and sight of Christmas. 

Hunter turned and his eyes lay upon a weary yet amused face "Bas, your place at Christmas is amazing..." He grinned, taking in another whiff of drugging spices and humming appreciatively "So you go all out at Christmas?" This time it was Sebastian who grinned. 

"Well, you know how much I love it" Hunter nodded, relieved to see a smile on Sebastian's face, immediately feeling a sense of homecoming and joy of Christmas spirit. 

"So... What did you want to talk about?" The smile dropped immediately from Sebastian's facial features, remaining only on his lips as a forced, genuine effort and painfully not reaching his eyes. "...this is serious isn't it?" Sebastian nodded gingerly to the question, it was strangely unnerving for Hunter to see Sebastian looking so... Sheepish? Nervous? He wasn't sure. 

He let Sebastian lead him throughout the house, past the tree and staircase and through a doorway with a small wreath hanging over head. Hunter was so wrong when he thought he had never seen such an incredible Christmas tree.

The one in the living room was about twice the height, the silver flashes of tinsel glittering through the room, reflecting in a large mirror and making it seem endlessly expanding in comparison to its original size. The pine sweet smell of tree spirits throughout the room circulated in the house, stronger with every passing step. This was truly a place of warmth, sanctuary and safety. 

A strong and earthy scent hit Hunters nose, mulled wine mixed with fruits and gingerbread. It's sweet, a fragrance that laminates the room, lending a divine flush to the orange and cinnamon. Other welcome aromas make the room a sensory overload of pleasure. Strings of colourful lights laced the room, making it feel private and cosy, beads were strewn over the musty scented needles of the tree, hanging loosely as though they were giving time for Hunter to endure in the happiness that Sebastian took the time to create and care for. 

Blankets covered the sofas, Hunter felt like he was dreaming, the warmth of the crackling fire sweeping a sense of relaxed peace over him, making him almost sleepy with joy and an extremely pleasurable sensation of nostalgia. 

"So, the other night" Sebastian started, knocking Hunter from his thoughts as he traced the other boys steps to sit with him on the sofa, feeling siting opposite would be much too formal. 

His immediate thought was to who Sebastian hooked up with, followed by a train of questions, maybe he liked someone? ...Maybe he saw Jeff kissing someone other than Nick? Maybe HE kissed Jeff? Maybe he liked Jeff?! 

"You really don't remember anything?"

"Nothing at all..." Sebastian coiled into himself further, it was nice to see him without his bravado or facade with Hunter, he seemed comfortable with the boy, and it made Hunter feel strangely... Fuzzy that he was the one who got to see it. Sebastian was harmless, and beneath everything, amazing. He really was. 

Hunter didnt think he had ever met anyone so... Talented, and so damn smart, his intelligence was beyond Hunters comprehension, they always had things to talk about, laugh about. 

At first it was all about Sebastian's attraction levels towards him, but of course, as soon as he found out Hunter was straight, he started meaninglessly flirting, and talking to him as though he was just another boy, not an object. That soon turned to respect, and as the hours of time they spent with one another extended, his mask slipped away, revealing the utterly unexpected incredible friend underneath. 

But now it was like some invisible wall had been set up again. Not so much of a bravado as a sheer wall of protection around the other boy, like Hunter was going to hurt him or shout at him. It made Hunter more uncomfortable than he thought possible, and strangely upset. 

"What's going on Sebastian?" Hunter frowned further, this time physically not mentally. He watched the way Sebastian's fingers tangled themselves together, creating a bundle of mess and seemingly imitating the boys thoughts and confusion. He wanted to reach out and stop the others nerves, to try and reassure him that what ever his troubles, it would all work out for the best, but Sebastian's energy was purely rejecting. 

It was then that Hunter realised that Sebastian didn't seem at home in his own home. He had created this incredible masterpiece, a truly magical artistically entrancing sculpture in his breath taking house, yet he didnt seem connected to it. 

"Will you please talk to me? I don't remember seeing you this anxious in li-" 

"I kissed you." 

Hunter froze...

"-I thought you said you didn't drink that much?" 

Silence. The silence was deafening Hunter was... Confused. Almost angry, almost upset, almost totally clueless. Why should this even matter? He was drunk, it shouldn't be a big deal... Right? 

"Sebastian... I don't get it. Why are you telling me this?" 

"Because... You said, you said some stuff" Sebastian squeezed his hands together, as though trying to crush the remaining memories that Hunters mind did not yet contain. 

"What did I say?" Sebastian stared downward, avoiding the emotions crossing throughout Hunters pupils and hiding his own by scrubbing his face, trying and failing to rid of the words in his head "Sebastian?" His name was said a little more harshly this time, and the boy flinched unintentionally, causing Hunter to automatically reach out to his elbow to try and offer him some comfort. This visibly just made Sebastian panic, who brushed off the touch as soon as it occurred. 

Now Hunter was anxious. What the hell had he said? Or done to make Sebastian... Scared of him?! 

"Something along the lines of... You've never... Never cared for someone as much, and that you knew you were the only person I let myself open up around... And-" 

"Oh my god..." Hunter ran a hand through his hair and stared at the boy, his face paler than considered healthy. "Sebastian I was drunk... I wasn't thinking..." 

"Exactly! You don't get it!" 

Hunter was taken back by the outburst, he couldn't believe himself. He knew the games Sebastian had been played over, the words he had been told. The insecurities they caused. And Hunter had slapped them in the face, resurfaced and red raw with the pain of memories. But to say he didnt get it? It made no sense, and it hurt more than he cared to mention.

"Hunter I keep trying over and over again to ram it into my stupid head that the words meant nothing and I know you were drunk but... But it still hurts so fucking much to hear you say that you don't remember it." 

The words were said so fast Hunter barely caught them, the only pause being a shaken breath as though the boy was going to snap, or break in two.  
Hunter repeated the words heard in his head, the boy was trembling now, and it was obvious why. He hadnt ever let himself open up to anyone since... That happened. He hadnt ever given himself to anyone, and it was inevitable. This situation was inevitable. And un-escapable. 

"I think you should go" 

The voice spoken got more hoarse each time it sounded, more scratched and raspy, gasping for air to wake him up from this horrible nightmare. Suddenly the light and spiced aroma were intruders, interrupting in a moment that Hunter wanted to purely be alone to talk. The smell became overly sweet and sickening, and what was the most inviting, heart warming, blanket cuddling smell, became nauseating, overwhelming and claustrophobic. He needed air. Sebastian may've been talking to him, it was the whispered words of 

"...I like you" 

That snapped him out of it, he faced Sebastian, who looked like he may burst into tears. Hunter wondered whether the words were in his head. But judging by the way Sebastian fidgeted in his seat, his head in his hands, fingers desperately gripping at the hairs on the back of his head, the skin on his knuckles was white, stretched with need and pressure, it really had happened. 

Hunters hand snapped to Sebastian's, he held it in his own and dragged it up from its rest against the other boys neck. "Hunt-" Sebastian tried to pull away immediately, and Hunter knew he was being unfair, saying nothing. He just.. He had to think of what he was going to say. And he had to be outside. But he wasn't going to leave Sebastian alone. 

Hunters fingers wrapped strongly around Sebastian's palm, which felt clammy with stress beneath his own, he stood briskly, taking large strides and dragging Sebastian to the door with him, ignoring the shouts for him to stop and get the fuck off from behind his ear.

Hunter slammed the door behind them both, not stopping as his legs led him through the knives of cold wind, Sebastian had given up trying to pull away by now, letting himself be dragged along and hissing as the sharp air ran straight through his thin shirt and jeans. Hunters grip tightened when he felt the boy try to pull away again.

"Will you get the fuck off me!! What the hell Hunter! Let me go and get out of this fucking freezing wind!" Hunter only stopped as he reached the trees "What do you think your playing at!" 

He eyed Sebastian over, shaking violently from with the small flakes of snow that had started to fall around them, drifting aimlessly through the air and settling immediately on the cold and dry ground. He huffed and angrily tugged off his jacket, chucking it harshly at Sebastian who flinched yet caught it immediately. 

"I don't want your shit." 

"Just put the fucking coat on Sebastian" Hunter glared at the boy, and judging by the way Sebastian only hesitated slightly before wrapping the coat tightly around him, he was too cold to care as much as he was trying to make out. Hunter didnt miss the small breath Sebastian gave off as he slid his arms through the heat Hunters had not long left from. 

"Please can I just go inside already?! I've fucking told you everything Hunter, I don't get why you're being so difficult about this! Is it purely because I'm gay? Because it makes you insecure to be around me incase I lunge at you at any minute? Or because you never really cared at all? And everything you've ever fucking said was a lie JUST LIKE THEM! EVERY FUCKING WOR-" 

Sebastian's words were swallowed by Hunters lips. 

What he didnt expect was to be pushed away so violently the second he tried to make physical contact with the boy, Hunter knew his intentions. 

"What kind of INSANE MESSED UP JERK ARE YOU?!" Sebastian cried, the snow falling heavier around them now, the peace of outside being shattered by the echoes of Sebastian's voice. 

"Will you shut up for a minute?! Because, maybe, just maybe, I've been lying to myself Sebastian! Maybe I've been just as scared of this as how you are with opening up! You're the most amazing, fucking smart guy I know! And why would I ever say shit like that if it hadn't crossed my mind sober? Let alone drunk!!" 

The only sound next was the shakey breath of the two boys, the small patter of heavy snow falling around them, Hunter clenched his jaw to stop his teeth chattering. 

"The reason I brought you out here was because I know you're more comfortable in nature." 

Hunter didnt break eye contact with the boy, who was staring at him as if he was telling the most ridiculous joke he had ever heard, he breathed in deeply, his insides vibrating with effort to warm up, his hands wrapped into themselves at his sides, turning very quickly a dark shade of red and purple to which he could no longer regain feeling in. 

Sebastian's eyes transformed infront of him, and Hunter silently pleaded him to stop as the eyes he was watching so gradually became glassy and his mouth a trembling, thin line. He looked truly drained, like he hadnt the effort to stand anymore, Hunter took a frantic step forward when he looked like he might fall, yet flinched at Hunters movement, causing him to stop like a deer in the headlights. 

He took a deep breath, waiting intently for Sebastian's thoughts to come to a conclusion, he couldn't care less about how much his body was truly frigid yet shaking intensely with cold. He just breathed, needed to. He felt like he couldn't. The years of a friendship depended on this moment, and the soft calls of an owl barely warmed his heart. 

The recognition in Sebastian's eye was immediate though, and he softly smiled, "that was a Tawny" he gently murmured, and Hunter followed his gaze to the call of the owl that sounded again. 

Sebastian seemed happy, and calm, and relaxed. Everything that Hunter wasn't right now. But if it was what Sebastian wanted to just forget and move on... Hunter only wanted him to be happy. And it was worth it even if he could never really speak to the boy again, as much as it broke him inside. 

Then there were arms, wrapping around his waist, pulling him into a warmth that wasn't just from the heat of the body entangling with him. He heard Sebastian's breath hitch, as though the tears had maybe finally fallen from his eyes. 

And Hunter could breathe again.  
Wrapping his own arms tightly around Sebastian's shoulders. 

"You know, I remember one thing..." Hunter whispered, and Sebastian pulled his head away from the hollow of his neck that it fit so perfectly, to look in his eyes in question. "I remember the feeling of someone kissing me..." He heard Sebastian's breath hitch, as a whispered voice asked him what it felt like. 

"It felt right." 

Was all he could answer, he was done with excuses for this not to work, he was done with being scared of his parents possible judgemental comments at his bi-sexuality or possibly even homo-sexuality. He was done with it all, and he just wanted to focus on what... Who... Made him happy. 

So then they kissed, their lips sliding lazily together in the falling snow, his hand cupping Sebastian's cheek to tilt his head up. 

They kissed a little more, they kissed as the stumbled to the warmth inside, they kissed on the couch until their lips were red, flushed and numb, they kissed through their giggles as they made their way upstairs. They kissed in Sebastian's bed, limbs entangled and breaths short. 

And then Hunter fell asleep. 

And they kissed a little more in his dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts! If you couldn't already tell.. I LOVE Christmas..


End file.
